Cauliflower Pizza Crust

I’m still missing Italy. Surprise, surprise. The idea of drinking espresso multiple times daily has been thrown out. Spending $2-3 every day just isn’t the same as €1, even without the conversion. We’ve been trying to get out as much as possible, imitating the Italian aspects of life we loved so much. Sitting at home just isn’t as awesome, y’know? We went to an Italian meetup group on Sunday. A group of people of varying levels of Italian meet up, bring snacks, and talk. It’s premise is to work on speaking Italian in a place where it isn’t as practical to keep fluent. Of course there are people like me who know next to nothing, but would love to learn. Eventually towards the end of the night, the conversations tend to disintegrate into entirely English, talking about experiences in Italy. It was cool to be around people who just get it.

There was a neat photographer/curator speaker at Ampersand Gallery and Fine Books Tuesday night. It’s the second one I’ve been to. Since I haven’t been very creatively inclined most of my life, it’s fun to see how the other half lives, and what kind of projects they work on. The night was rounded out with a show at The Know, a local bar and music venue, to see our friend’s band The Great Apes.

Tonight, we braced ourselves for a disaster at dinner. Via Tribunali is a pizzeria known for it’s Neapolitan pies that mimic those of southern Italy. We were craving a Italian pizza fix. You can see where this was going. A Caesar salad, a quattro stagione pizza [pomodoro, fresh mozzarella, prosciutto cotto, oven-roasted mushrooms, salame piccante, grana padano, basil], a vermouth and soda for me, and a Peroni for him. Easy enough. The service left a lot to be desired. The food was on point, though. Four star food with 2-3 star service. *cue the wah-wah noise* To finish off the gripe, these 12″ pies were in the $14-17 range. Pies in Italy go for €6-8. Again, irritating. We knew this would happen, but we went anyway. They do have a $5 happy hour. That might be redeeming. Maybe.

Ingredients

• 1/2 head of cauliflower
• 1 egg
• 2oz finely shredded cheese [I used colby jack, but feel free to use whatever cheese makes sense for your pizza]
• 3 tablespoons nutritional yeast
• 1 small clove of garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon oregano
• 1 teaspoon basil
• 1 teaspoon ranch dressing seasoning [I actually had a packet of this on hand…random]
• salt and pepper
• pizza toppings of choice [Mine: fire roasted tomatoes, zucchini, green pepper, mushrooms, more cheese]

Preparation

1. Preheat the oven to 450° and prep a baking sheet with a Silpat or baking spray.
2. Grate the cauliflower [I used the food processor—lazy!].
3. Microwave the cauliflower for about 10 minutes, until steamed and soft.
4. Prepare the toppings while it cools.
5. Combine the cooled cauliflower, egg, shredded cheese, nutritional yeast, garlic, oregano, basil, ranch dressing, salt, and pepper in a large bowl. It’ll be soft and pliable.
6. Spread the mixture onto the baking sheet into a crust shape. It should be about 1/4″ thick or so, making the largest rectangle you can.
7. Bake the crust for 12-15 minutes until the edges start to turn a crispy brown color.
8. Layer your toppings, the lighter the better unless you like mush.
9. Return the pizza to the oven for another 5-7 minutes until everything is heated through and any cheese has melted.
10. Slice and eat.
11. Wish you were in Italy.